My Soul My Story

My Soul My Story 

It is not my story alone, but, may be, of anyone who in his first birth had had a lot of misdeeds to his credit; received the result and had gone to hell; learned how sufferings can be earned and mutated into moralistic; in his second birth, wholeheartedly, devoted himself to the Almighty – singing and dancing and again, leaving earth seeking a place in heaven.

I am travelling on a substance which I assume and hence wish to be a chariot, but not fully rid of doubt. My driver – Yamadooth, the assistant of Yama – has been maintaining a long silence that I had to estimate myself the destiny as Durber of Yama. To break the long silence and having a reason to talk about, I inquired about the name of that moving substance. I think, he replied ‘car’ like something.

The substance carried us moving above knees of people, heads of people then the heads of trees. I can now see Yama’s Durber as a golden spot in the darkened sky.

“Your name?”. He asked in a way as if you are hearing from a person who is your rival in a pretty distant relation, which might not necessarily be known to you, and in a particular situation where he has to keep his ‘Gentleman’ title, utter something to you. Tinge of involvement and interest is not at all at heart. I inquired: “ To which incarnation you are pointing out, majesty?”

As he, then, seemed to have forgotten about saving his title and I became afraid thinking of the long silence crawling near me, I continued “In my second birth- Vijayanda and in first- Paryamekshaka. Driver continued his job of rotating a ring in front, and it is his cowardice due to inexperience, I reckon, that made him shake a rod frequently. The rod is placed beside him.

“What about Yama, is he fine?”. I asked expecting a reply. But that was the last sound before that long-long silence.

Moving substance is flying over the shines of river, mist then ice-cubes and it suddenly got some speed that the sight of Durber seemed to be getting exaggerated quickly. To compliment with my present, my past seemed to be getting cohered quickly. While in the role of Paryamekshaka, in stone age, I was rather discarded among my fellow beings. Though we were all naked the nudity of ladies had evoked something inside me. How many poor ladies were………….? Animals wandered around us affluently, but my idleness did not let me to do the necessary. I, then, used to extort food from my friends; Objector had to wrestle with my sharp stone tool. How many brave men were ….? Sex and Violence remained as my weakness in those days.

By that time- which I considered prettiest in those days and now as a cursed time- one man approached me and asserted “ I am one of the Yamadooths. Come with me ”. I aimed my tool at his head, but, with astonishing speed he picked that and converted into a Rose. I, then, accompanied him leaving my physical body there, carrying the rose in my hands. We travelled in a chariot, which was carried by two big bullocks. He asked many a questions and I answered very few, not because of my ego but inferiority.

There had been Yama standing before the Durbar and he welcomed me with his bright smile. I think, he then wore some extraordinary dresses, pearls adorned crown, jewels etc. Durbar was the common junction towards both place- left Hell and right Heaven, and there were numerous men indulging in various jobs. Afterwards, there had been a debate between him and me. Topic was- ‘ Life’ . Then –‘ Aim of life’, ‘Existence’ and ‘Likes and dislikes’. Finally, Yama triumphed over me showing an experience. He brought two tiny miniatures of me and threw one into one of the two firewalls. He extinguished fire and showed me no traces of my miniatures there. He, then, threw next model uttering some hymns, into the second firewall and with my twinkling eye balls, I saw my model shining brightly than that of extinguished fire.

I needed no time to fall upon Yama’s feet. He invited me to observe the sight- crematory honour serving by my fellow beings towards me. I saw women and men rushing towards my body fragmenting it with their sharp stone tool, and one of those tools, I suppose, was mine. There were thousands of my fleshy fragments and each one of the crowd, up to their maximum capability, picked a number of pieces to throw downwards from a hill point. Birds, then, flew rapidly to capture my flesh and there reached none down the valley. My eyeballs melted into litres of water, but Yama consoled and accompanied me to the left of the Durbar- way towards Hell. Pointing the finger to the right of Durbar, he advised me “ Pray God, always! ”

After the sufferings from the Hell, I returned to earth as Vijayananda. I grew pious and gave myself to God. There were a number of followers behind me and with their permission, I got detached from my second birth. And, now, I have reached the Durber.

There is no one at its entrance other than two women, carelessly dressed and they have black thick rods in hands. I think, it is ‘Riffle’ like something answered by driver when I enquired him about its name. I startled seeing my gloomy driver flirting up with those two women singing and dancing. I rushed into the Durber seeking Yama and to thank him for revealing the undiscovered and untouched treasure inside me- Spirituality. I can find none there, than the three women, vigorously dressed and are indulging in making miniatures. They are calm and do not care my standing there. After some hours, the whole Durber is filled with thousands of models of people and then murmuring and whistling they moved towards left side of the Durbar. With quick but loud noise, they opened and closed the door to the Hell. I examined models and found each wax made one corresponding to other, made of iron. Afterwards, I stood there for nearly two days and then suddenly one man appeared and through thorough checking I identified him, the Yama. He is naked and changed a lot without his ornaments, crown and fascinating dress materials. His face seemed to be just awakened and I could find long days’ fatigue on his face. He turned his pale face downwards, towards earth and I felt he was drawing my attention towards the same direction. I saw my fellow men capturing my assets, which I delivered them for charity, and all of them escaped on a moving substance into different directions.

Sorrowfully turning my face, saw a small stretchy smile on Yama’s face. I, awfully, saw my dead body lying there and at once my fellow women attacked on it with great lust. Dubiously turning my face, I could not find Yama there. I searched every part of the Durbar and found none but door to left little opened.

Contributed By: Usha Hariprasad, usha_hariprasad@yahoo.com

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